This past weekend, I had the privilege of attending yet another HCI (Health Coach Institute) Live event, this one right here in good ole Phoenix! I gathered with 800+ of my closest friends and tribe mates at the AZ Grand Resort, which has been recently renovated, nice! This event came at a perfect time for me, as I have been feeling a little “stuck” lately with how to move forward with my coaching business, continuing education, and balancing everything else in life. I went in with a goal of being re-inspired and motivated.
What I got was so much more. I should have known it would not only be inspiring, but transformative. That’s what this whole journey is about, after all. Before Day 1 even started, I told myself that I would go into the experience with an open heart and open mind, that I would allow myself to engage more, taking in the full experience as much as possible. At the Live event in Dallas, I was more closed-off, not knowing what to expect, feeling a little shy, not really meeting new people, really just there to “observe.” While I had an amazing experience in Dallas, I feel like this event in PHX was even more rewarding. Not only did I get to bring my hubby for a day of content this time, I got to practice some incredible, breakthrough coaching sessions with my friend, classmate, and fellow heart warrior from CA, Lori. Plus, we had some amazing, inspirational speakers who really lit a fire under me!
One of the first things I learned when studying to become a Health Coach, is that we can only take our clients as far as we are willing to go ourselves. That transformation begins with US. That said, the first step in the transformational process is stepping back. So, this weekend served as a perfect opportunity for me to “step back” and see how some of my limiting beliefs have been holding me back and causing me doubts.
You see, I am REALLY good at trying to control everything. And when I do this, I tend to take on the role of martyr. If I have to do it ALL, how am I going to be able to continue to do it all AND start a year of studying for my HMBA Mastery Certification starting in May? How on earth can I do this and still maintain some sanity, or still be there for my boys? I mean, I HAVE to do it ALL, don’t I? I can’t ask for help, can I? Do I even know how???
Suffice it to say, being led through some coaching by my AMAZING LPF (Lab Partner Forever), I realized this is the limiting belief that keeps coming up for me time and time again. We all have some limiting beliefs, and I’m willing to bet most moms out there have one very similar, if not the exact same. “I have to provide for everyone else first, then I can take care of myself with what’s leftover.” And what’s usually leftover, is a depleted, exhausted version of ourselves. What we think, we create.
I made myself a promise this weekend, that I will find ways to ask for help. And that when help is offered, I will accept. Instead of saying, “I don’t know,” I will say, “I wonder…”. I am EXTREMELY blessed. I have a husband that does offer to help, and I need to be better about acknowledging and accepting those offers. And the things that don’t get done? Pretty sure no one will die if I don’t get that load of laundry done, take the dog to the groomer, or even write this blog. More likely, no one will even notice (except maybe my running buddies when I pull a dirty shirt out of the hamper to where on the run).
By making this promise to myself, I can better find a balance, handle the load, and not try to serve from a depleted, stressed out version of me. If I am well, I can better take care of others. After all, isn’t this what I coach my clients to do? Self-care is so important, so fill your cup and give from the overflow. And there’s no shame in relinquishing a little control and asking for help, so go ahead and do it if you need it. I promise, I will too.